That Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant narcissist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.
Prime Target
We love the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.
